adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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