i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
