did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
