Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
