she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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