I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize