Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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