We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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