Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
