NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
