i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
my shit smells like andre
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
