when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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