Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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