whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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