If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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