you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
