My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
