Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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