no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
