Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
