There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
