some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
