come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
