Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
