if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
