dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
