I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Someone shattered a urinal.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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