i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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