I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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