The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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