We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
