I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
