just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
