i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
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