we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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