I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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