you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she told me i tasted like america
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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