if you like me you must not know who I am
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
