Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
