You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
