i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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