Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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