you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
