I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
