yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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