i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
