did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
