I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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