Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
