turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
