it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
